Life As Lihahiz

NACURH 2012!!!!!!!!

I’m leaving for NACURH tomorrow!!! I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!! So if it seems that I am on a hiatus it’s because I don’t have access to a computer!!!

NACURH Packing!!!

so I’ve started to pack for my NACURH trip and it is a challenge! I need to fit five days of clothing and banquet attire in a carry-on suitcase and my backpack, along with my chemistry homework, clothespins, and (hopefully) my moose.

I need less stuff or more room… I should probably bring the beastly knee brace too (ughhh fml) but I probably won’t and will definitely pay for it later. yay my life.

only 3 days and 23 hours until opening ceremonies!!! YAYYAYYAY!!!

MOOSE LOVE!

COUNTDOWN UPDATE!

I feel as though a countdown update should be an oxymoron… Anyways the countdown as of May 25, 2012 is as follows-

• 5 days until I am back at school for NACURH prep
• 6 days until I’m flying to Colorado for NACURH
• 7 days until NACURH 2012 kicks off
  
  

I am so excited for NACURH! I can’t wait to start networking again, learning about what works at different res halls around the country, expressing all of my MOOSE LOVE (the moose is my daddy), cheering my butt off (I want to do my thing!), RIDING THE PONY, and just having an amazing time!!!!

I am of course excited to meet so many new people. I really hope my NEACURH buddy/straight-edge friend will be there, but I’m probably getting my hopes up for nothing. (5 weeks and I still haven’t heard from him. FML.) But of course, I will be keeping Tonto’s rule in mind, but I’m going to have some fun for a few days, some people say I deserve to have some fun -hehehe- (yes, that was an evil laugh)

Anyways, NACURH 2012 is going to be AH-MAZING! I just know it. I should probably start figuring out how I am going to pack everything I need… that’s going to be the real challenge, especially leaving room for all of the stuff I am going to be bringing back! YEAH NACURH SWAG!!! And I want to bring my moose… I’m going to need to figure this out… SOON!!!

EEEEKKKKK!!!

I wanna leave and never come back.

I hate it here. All I do is get shit on. I try to be nice and helpful and just get treated like crap.

I wanna move away, leave, forget who I am, forget everyone I know, and start over somewhere new. No one in my life would miss me, I’m just an evil and heartless bitch. My mom wouldn’t care, she has her boyfriend. My brother wouldn’t care, he hates me when I come home from school. The people from school would get over it pretty quick, they have bigger and better things to worry about. My friends from home ditch me all of the time, so they won’t care.

I’ve contemplated leaving before, to go live with my grandparents, but that was when we lived with my dad, but things got better for a bit. Now that I’m home for three months, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to handle taking all of the bullshit. But I don’t really have the means to leave, I want to badly though.

I just want to leave for good.

Pieces of Me

My life is like a broken vase that needs help being put back together.

Some pieces are large and are easy to fit into place. Some are small and aren’t always put in the right place. Some pieces are like crumbs, that can never fit back into place.

Each person I let into my life helps put me back together or makes it worse. People who put the big pieces back are the people who play a large role. They help make me who I am. The smaller pieces are the people who don’t play such a large role in my life, or they do not play the right role in my life. Some people, however, take pieces and smash them into the crumbs. Those are the people who tear me down. They hurt me. Those people create holes in my life that can never be fixed. Some people are the glue that hold me all together.

Sometimes, however, pieces fall out, sometimes the pieces break or get bumps, that change me. These are pieces originally put into place by people who once played an important role in my life but have changed. Sometimes the person puts the bumped piece back, but it’s different and I will never be the same.

I feel like there are too many people in my life falling out or smashing pieces. It feels like my life, my emotions, my hopes and dreams are pieces of the vase that people play games with and break them.

There are too many pieces of me that I want back. I want to be a perfect vase again but I never will. People don’t care and use me as much as they want.

If you’re reading this, you might be one of the people using my life as a game. I’m begging for it to stop. Just be straight-forward.

“Always Be There” = Bullshit

People always say that they will be there for you, but when you truly need them they are busy or dealing with their own problems…

It’s 1:45 A.M. and I needed someone but the people who said they will “always be there” for me are out partying, ignoring me, or getting ready for finals. I understand finals are important but partying and ignoring me/not talking to me makes me feel like they don’t care.

Good thing I have my s-g best friend or else I wouldn’t have had anyone there for me tonight.

Tonight’s Lesson- People will say they will “always be there” but don’t listen to them because when you need them most, they won’t be.